Saturday, May 7, 2016

Broken.

I tried to forget it. I tried to put out of memory the feelings that came from his touch. It wasn't out of shame. It wasn't out of a lack of desire. It was frustration. The misery that was my constant companion soured all delight that I encountered. It whispered lies that I didn't deserve it, that I didn't earn it. Each time my mind wandered down those paths of memory, I felt the edge of hunger sharpen and then depression come to blunt it by hammering the metal so that it was a useless impersonation of that painfully keen edge.

Sitting in the entry room, caught in my thoughts and struggling with the desire to flee because I felt so unworthy, I didn't notice when he arrived. It was warm in here. My shawl was stifling, but I held it tightly about myself like a security blanket, questioning why I had come. The sound of his footsteps on the tiled floor were precise, clipped sounds as the hobnails of his boots struck the floor. When he approached my right side, I looked over. I thought that I would find him attending business. I thought that I'd find him too busy to do anything other than give me a brief glance as his attention was drawn away to another pressing matter. Instead, I saw him gazing solemnly at me.

There was something I couldn't identify in his eyes, some type of heat that seemed familiar but alien at the same time. He wasn't dressed in the clothes that he usually wore this time of year. His hair was the color of golden ripe grain that looked almost brassy when the light coming in the window struck it. It was long enough that it did not fall in loose wave but in a near stick straight fall down his back with a few stray locks falling into his face. His shirt was near identical to what I had seen him wearing when he left to go hunting months ago, I vaguely wondered if it was the same. His jeans weren't skin tight but they still managed to show off the strength in his legs as he walked towards me. His movements were slow and measured as he approached me.

I watched him, unable to keep myself from feeling a quick surge of lust. He stepped out of the brilliance of the window's offerings. As he reentered the dimness of the room, his expression changed ever so slightly. The faintest curl of a smile touched his lips and my chest tightened. There, wearing the face of the gentle grain lord, I realized, I saw the hunter. I blushed and then blanched so quickly I found myself turning dizzy. His brilliant gaze was focused solely upon me, despite the others in the room and the courtier who called for his attention. I bolted to my feet. I had told myself I would sit and wait, that I would speak with him. But his fierce gaze and rapid approach set something primal in me to believe that flight was necessary.

I took a step backwards away from him. The subtle smile grew as I retreated back another pace. When he was nearly at arm's length away from me, I turned on my heel and ran blindly. I darted around a confused servant. My shawl caught on the edge of a door frame as I stumbled into it. Not caring that I lost it, I bolted out into the brilliant light of day. Dazzled by the light, I froze for a moment. That even, deliberate pace behind me didn't slow or quicken. I knew, however, that he was drawing close again. With a shiver, I ran with my heart hammering in something somewhere between terror, anticipation, and excitement.

Soon, I had reached the treeline. By the time I had passed deep enough into the trees that I thought I might be somewhat hidden from that gaze that could see so deeply into me, I slowed to a walk. I stepped behind a tree and closed my eyes. I bowed my head and tried to make my ragged breath more even. I heard a noise behind me. I raised my head and held my breath. He whistled merrily as he walked into the wood. I turned and peeked around the tree's trunk. Beneath the dappled light of the sun, I saw him walking along the path I left behind me in my wild flight. He stopped several feet away from me, looking at where I hid. His whistle died on his lips as he grinned at me.

"Fly away, little bird," he called to me with a note of challenge in his voice, "I will still catch you." I swallowed past a lump in my throat. He reached up and began to unbutton his shirt. As he did so, he called, "Run, little girl, while you can." I watched him pull it free from where it was tucked into his jeans and my mouth went dry. He took a step towards me as he shrugged it off of his shoulders. I gasped, suddenly feeling like I needed to run, like the feelings rising up in me were dangerous but not as dangerous as the one who evoked them. He laughed as I turned and fled.

Stumbling over roots and debris on the forest floor, I ran where I could and clambered elsewhere. Soon, I found myself on something that resembled a path. I then pelted down it into the dimness of the deep forest. After having run until my lungs burned and my legs were sore, I leaned against another tree and tried to rest. I trembled with the storm of emotions roiling around within me. I closed my eyes and slowly dropped down to crouch at the base of the tree. In the half light of the deep forest, I heard the sound of woodland animals quietly at their lives. High above me, birds twittered and did their courtship rituals. I was so focused on trying to catch my breath and quiet my anxious mind, I did not notice the sounds of someone approaching me from ahead of me on the path.

When it did register that someone was there, I looked up and found him standing a few feet before me. I squawked in alarm and tried to scramble back away from him, only to run into the tree behind me. He walked up to me, grinning at how I tried to find my feet. He loomed over me with his hungry, knowing smile. Slowly, he knelt down before me. His large hands reached forward and caught my wrists. With irresistible strength, he pulled my arms away from my chest, where I had curled them protectively before myself and brought them to my sides. He smiled with approval at how my breasts rose and fell with my quick, unsteady breaths.

He leaned forward, nestling himself between my legs. His face was a breath away from my own. I closed my eyes and my breath caught in my throat at the desire I saw there. "Oh no," he said in a tone that was quiet and filled with promise, "You can't escape that way." His mouth settled over mine and I froze. Slowly, he kissed me with all the knowledge and intimacy that came from how he had pleasured me in the past, from how he studied me and my responses to everything. As he kissed me, I began to relax. He chuckled softly, allowing me a moment to catch my breath before kissing me again. He let go of my wrists and wrapped his arms around me.

He pulled me forward and I fell against him. "You can't run from me," he purred in my ear and I shuddered. With a twist, he pinned me to the ground. As he sat on my hips, I stared up at him and felt like there was fire pouring through my veins. He reached forward and took hold of my shirt. As he slipped it off over my head, he grinned. "You can't run from your hunger either," he said before leaning down and taking my right nipple in his mouth. He sucked hard on it and I gave a low moan. As he rolled it between his teeth, I shuddered and moaned louder. He raised his head and looked down at me.

He stood up and kicked off his boots before stripping off his pants and underwear. I stared at his erection, my heart hammering even as I could feel my sex twitch. He ran a hand lightly over himself as he looked down at me. He knelt and pushed my skirt up. His soft laugh of triumph when he discovered that I was with out panties made me shiver. He parted my thighs and licked my clit. I groaned. With a low sigh of pleasure, he did so again. Slowly, he teased and nibbled at my clit as I squirmed beneath him and whimpered. When he slipped a finger deep in me, I gasped and moaned. Relentlessly, he rubbed my g-spot as he worried at my clit with his teeth.

I sobbed softly and tangled my fingers in his hair. He lifted his head for a moment to look at me. His hungry expression looked near possessive as he leaned over me. Powerfully, his hand pumped my sex. Soon, I shuddered and writhed as an orgasm arose. I gasped and groaned as it broke. I gave little cries as he continued with greater force. Wrenching orgasms out of me with his hands, I sobbed and writhed before him in the dirt. Bringing me to the edge of one that left me barely able to breathe, he stopped. I moaned and sobbed in protest.

He knelt and lifted my hips up to meet his. As he thrust into me, I loudly cried out. With almost savage force, he drove into me. I grasped at the air and wept with pleasure. I arched and he pushed me down into the stones beneath us. He pressed his face against my shoulder, breathing hard in my ear. I tossed my head, unable to help the orgasms that shook me. I sobbed and soon began to scream with them. The noise of my shrieks echoed off the trees around us, but he paid it no mind. As he bit down on my shoulder, I gave a long, keening wail that dropped down into a low moan. He continued to thrust into me as my strength ran out of me. Soon, I lay limp before him, shuddering. My cries gradually quieted and I was just choking with the ragged breaths I made. He had pushed me past where I could think clearly, where I could control my responses, and into where there was only pleasure. I lay helplessly beneath him as he drove me deeper into that place. As unconsciousness rolled over me, I felt my body shuddering with orgasms that crushed the breath out of me and all I could do was moan.

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